Selfish Is The Key To Selfless: How Physics Can Help Unlock Our Selfish and Selfless desires

In the history of the world, no one has ever had to teach their kids to say "mine." The concept of sharing has always been an intentional lesson for children to learn. Of course, some children never learn the sharing lesson while growing up and eventually become either stingy, greedy or selfish adults. I'm sure we all know one of those people.

Selfish - "lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure."

As you can see, the word "selfish" has a negative connotation to it. While it gets a bad rap, there's plenty of upside. Bear with me while I explain this by examining the opposite. One of the qualities that people aspire to possess in life is selflessness. Ask anyone who doesn't have it all what they'd do if they won the lottery. Most people will mention selfless acts of kindness or generosity. Here is my reasoning as to why I think so.

There's a way that the world operates that has been in existence long before we were born, and will be in existence long after we're gone. For instance, gravity. Gravity is a universal force that specifically keeps us on the ground so that we're not accidentally jumping our way into outer space. Gravity is a principle of physics and a way of life that we cannot avoid. Similarly, there are common sense principles - as I call them, derived from physics such as "cause and effect" or as Newton stated, "action and reaction".

At this point, you may be wondering about other physics principles that govern our physical and mental worlds. I surmise that there are principles, or keys, that unlock specific wisdom and understanding in our lives that already exist both on the inside and outside, but are yet to be uncovered by the inquisitive mind. In other words, I believe that we already have the seeds and ingredients in us that are destined to be mighty trees, we just need some water and sunshine to help them grow. Our life experiences are the water, and the sunshine is the common understanding that we get when we deduce the principles that overlap between universal physics and personal life.

In the title of this writing, I stated that selfish is the key to selfless. While counterintuitive, it makes sense once you look at common examples of this being true. One example is when a person is drowning. When a person is drowning, in order to save them you have to let them tire out so that they're able to be saved, otherwise they're taking you down with them. When an airplane loses air pressure fast, the instructions are to take care of yourself first before you take care of other people (including children).

“When you take care of yourself first, you show up as a healthy, grounded person in life,” - Bob Rosen, author of Grounded: How Leaders Stay Rooted in an Uncertain World (Jossey-Bass, 2013).

Of course, with selfishness, one must strike a delicate balance. Too much selfishness and you alienate everyone and isolate yourself. Not enough and you risk burning out and not being yourself, resenting those who you feel bounded by.

"In the Antarctic cold, emperor penguins must huddle up for warmth, but moving too closely together can cause them to overheat ... They are not alone – from bacteria seeking to optimize their surroundings’ oxygen concentration to foraging ants, groups of living organisms of different complexities show a great capacity for self-organization to achieve the greatest benefit for the collective." - Heba Megahd, PhD contributor to Physics World.

No matter how you slice it, the best way to be selfless is to first be selfish. You know the saying "With great power, comes great responsibility?" Well, with great selfishness, comes the ability to recognize when to be selfish. The facts are the facts, when you give everyone else a piece of the pie, you're left with only crumbs. This has been true throughout history and will ring true after we're gone. Like a physics principle, nature requires equilibrium. Don't you think we do as well?

If your goal is to let your light shine and make an impact, make an impact on yourself first. Even light becomes weaker when it's spread too thin, but if you focus the light it can become a powerful laser cutting through the toughest of materials, yet that same laser's functionality is versatile enough to be used in applications to correct eyesight.